Hacked

For those of you following me on Twitter, I just found out that I have been hacked. I am not sure how to fix it at this time.

I am definitely not sending out weight loss messages and/or advice. I'm not sure what else has been posted and at this point, I can't actually access my account. I think there may be some fake pictures floating around. The only real pictures of me on the internet are on this blog and a few thumbnail profile pics. I think there are two variations.

I am very sorry if any of the messages that have been sent out under my name have offended anyone, as I'm sure they have, seeing as this is the work of a some sort of troll. I am going to work on fixing the situation and I will explain and apologize on Twitter as soon as I can.

All of the best,

Olene

Write What You Know

            “Write what you know.” You hear it all of the time. It is offered up as the ultimate kernel  of wisdom in this business, but what does it really mean? If authors followed it in the literal sense we would never have all of the wonderful fantasy novels that are currently so popular. Star Wars and Twilight could never have been the blockbuster franchises they are. After all, none of us knows what it is like to save a galactic empire or to love a vampire.

            That does not mean that the phrase has no literal meaning. After all, lawyers write some of the best courtroom dramas. Cops write procedural novels that fascinate us with their inside scope. Niche fiction, it could be said, is best written by those on the inside.

            Where does that leave the rest of us? What about the historical fiction writers? The fantasy writers? The science fiction writers?

            It leaves us with the human state. What do you feel? What do you do? What do you observe? Greed, jealousy, ambition, and love are all universal feelings. We don’t have to have been born in the 1800’s in order to understand Charles Dickens, nor do we need any more than a passing knowledge of the renaissance to gain a general understanding of Shakespeare’s plays. The reason for that is, of course, that times change, but people do not.

            It is often said that writers were the first psychologists and it is probably true. After all, Jane Austen remains popular to this day not for her themes of husband and fortune hunting, but for her witty insights into the folly of the human mind.

            It follows then, that to write what we know, in its most basic form, is to write what we experience. Take that fear from the first day you went to kindergarten, or the insecurity that you felt when another child bullied you, or the pain when you burnt yourself making breakfast this morning, or the attraction you felt to a stranger in the gym last week, then magnify, diminish, or warp it as you choose.

            Meanwhile, we must remember to do our research, so that if we have not lived through our plot, we can at least pretend we have.

            That’s my take on “write what you know”. What’s yours?

If Your Book is your Baby, What Kind of Parent are You?

(Disclaimer: This is meant to be all in fun, not a serious remark on any real parents out there.)

1. The Helicopter Parent: Do you worry over every little detail in your book? Do you stay awake at night wondering if your character should have pointed at the Dodge and said “this truck” or “that truck”? Which one sounds better? And if the hero’s eyes are green but he wears an orange tee-shirt at one point will that clash? Should he know this? Should the girl comment on it? Should he wear a button-up instead?

2. The “My Child Does Nothing Wrong” Parent: Do you hand out your book for edits and then send off an offended three page reply when somebody comments with something as innocuous as “If you switched these two sentences the cadence of the paragraph might be better.”?

3. The “Strict” Parent: You carefully craft character cards and a full, detailed outline before anything else is thought of or written. You write a specific number of pages every single day exactly according to the outline. You have a timeline in which to get this novel done and you achieve your goal.

3. The “New Age” Parent: You don’t really need to plan or edit. Everything is better in its original, organic form.

4. The “Neglectful” Parent: I’ll do something about it… eventually.

I have a tendency toward Neglectful Parent, with occasional bouts of Strict Parent. Does that mean my novels are going to need therapy?

I’d suspect that most of us are just “Normal Parents” with leanings towards some of these silly stereotypes. So tell me, to which do you tend do you tend to gravitate?

Why Write

Why write? It gobbles up your time. Most of your social circle aren’t big readers and will never open the pages of your novel. The chances of getting published are slim to none, unless you manage to self publish and it’s even steeper walk uphill from there.

So why? Self-punishment? Boredom? When you tell someone that you are a writer that is always the first thing they want to know and the truth is that I don’t have an answer. I am not a romantic dreamer. I have no interest in “educating” the world. I am not a wealthy woman who needn’t work and can fritter away my time however I choose. I have plenty on my plate already.

A few options have been given to me as possible motivation for choosing an almost impossible career goal. The first is that, being surrounded by an extremely artistic family while being quite probably the only person to get a B- in elementary school art class (my only B- ever and I still resent it) made me seek out another form of self-expression. It is possible too that I was simply a bored teen with too few friends, who chose to invent a few in a way more sophisticated than simple childhood imaginary friends. There is always the chance that writing is the natural progression for people who love to read and I always have.

I am at my happiest when I am producing a large amount of pages and not even editing puts me off of my goals, so it must fulfill some sort of need. I do not know what that need is, though. Perhaps it is merely a need for distraction.

None of this, though, is a good answer. What about you? Do you, personally, have a good reason for this hobby/trade/passion?

Print Addition

I am here to announce the release of The Gates of Nottingham in print! As it turns out, Adobe Acrobat is no longer needed to make this happen on Amazon’s affiliate, Createspace. They have just released templates that work very well. Granted, you can’t get super fancy, but that was not what I wanted in the first place. The template was easy to use even with a behemoth like my novel which ended up being 475 pages in this format. Here I am reading it:

Shameless self promotion (like the picture above) is what’s up next. I have a couple of little fairs and book-signings scheduled, but I’m a little bit at loose ends right now. I am new to my community and net-working was never my forte. Anyone have any suggestions? I was thinking it might help to donate a copy to a few local libraries and that since I am now officially self-published, I could teach a few courses on how to do it. Obviously, the internet is where it’s at right now as far as sales go, but if I can at least get local buzz, that can help with the online part.

Right?

I've read books on the subject, but those don’t really give many concrete answers. So, I must turn to you for fresh ideas ideas. Everybody chime in.

Professional Review

I got my first professional review today! So excited. As you can imagine, I was terrified submitting it in the first place. What if I wrote a horrible book? What if she plasters it all over the internet? What if I look like the biggest idiot to ever try self publishing? I actually lay awake one night fretting. Writers!

She left me a glowing review, though. I could not ask for anything better and (perhaps this is massive ego stroking, OK it is, but I'm going to do it anyway) I am pasting it below. The Gates of Nottingham is now $.99 on Kindle and will be available for $12.99 in print next week and this bolsters my hopes for it.

****

"Having previously read next to nothing regarding Robin Hood and his legend, this novel was a fantastic surprise and hugely enjoyable. My knowledge regarding the subject is limited to the Kevin Costner film and that didn't really enthuse me.
This novel however, was fantastic. Every single character felt alive and believable and I followed them through their heady plot desperate to find out what was to happen next. I can't vouch for the historical accuracy of the novel but as a fantastic tale of believable characters, heart wrenching romance and some serious action, it cannot be faulted for ticking all the necessary boxes.
It's one of those novels that deserve to be turned into a film or TV serial as every single character is drawn with such accuracy and detail. A hugely pleasant surprise that I could not have enjoyed more if I tried considering it isn't the kind of thing I'd naturally choose. The author should be commended, especially as I couldn't put it down and swallowed it in two four hour blocks!
I especially enjoyed the ending but have to say I felt particularly sorry for Sir Guy of Gisborne despite my better judgement and wish things could have turned out better for him, despite his somewhat nasty nature. Favourite characters included the gypsy Maeve and Marion's sister Helena who's feisty attitude in the face of adversity is extremely infectious and likeable. Quinn offers readers a fantastic twist on an already well known tale."
Bethan Townsend, The Kindle Book Review        

If life was a cozy mystery:

* All women would either be too thin (read: like Cindy Crawford in the 90’s but with self esteem issues) or too curvy (read: like current SI swimsuit girl Kate Upton with self esteem issues).

* Everybody would have fun, yet stressful jobs. Gone would be all of the janitors, grocery checkers, and plumbers. Now, we all design clothes or jewelry! We are writers or painters or poets. It is hard and we complain about it constantly, but somebody’s got to rake in mega loads of cash while apparently doing nothing so that we can solve crime.

* All men would be the living, breathing, flesh equivalent of the statues of the gods. Women don’t go after kindness, intellect, compatibility, humor, stability, or anything else. We want abs! Or biceps… as long as they are in the vicinity of abs.

* If a woman wears stilettos, or has long, blonde hair she is probably the murderer. If she is not the murderer, she is still a terrible person and we should say snarky things to her.

* If the book is by Mary Higgins Clark and a man is slightly over six foot tall, lean and athletic, with sandy blond hair, he is the murderer. You have to watch out for the fair-haired among us.

* Women get to be in a constant state of pms reminiscent rage and self-importance, which will be written off as “feistiness”. Also, everybody forgives it and all of the semi-cruel words and eye rolls just slide off of those around us like water off the back of a duck.

* The murderer always confesses. Never mind lawyers, trials, and what not. The truth must be told by an otherwise cold-blooded murderer.

            That is all I can think of for now. Sarcasm over. Cozy mysteries are actually one of my favorite niche genres. I have read hundreds of them. Some were good and some were horrible, but most contained the elements listed above. Now, clichés are clichés for a reason (to use a cliché) so I always like to examine them. This list of qualities sells.

            Do you have anything to add to my list? Or perhaps you want to make a list of your own in your own blog. I think romance novels and courtroom thrillers are ripe for the kill.

            To change the topic, I’ve lowered the price of the kindle edition of The Gates of Nottingham. It is now $.99 on Amazon. I think I have solved my print problem as well. I ordered the proof copy this morning. Hopefully, it won’t be too much longer on that.